Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

I have written a lot about grit and delayed gratification, and for the most part, those ideals have been directed toward student motivation and getting the children that we teach to work a little harder each day. During Teacher Appreciation Week it would be easy for me to write a "thank you" for the work that teachers do, but instead I'm going to write about grit and delayed gratification again. This time, it's not about the work, but about the reward. Educators need to do a better job of focusing on the fruits of our labor instead of the trials and tribulations we face along the way. Focusing on the successes of our efforts provides a model to go by for future efforts and fuels our passion to continue to do more.

This week I encountered many things to write about and I could see this post getting longer and longer in my head. Instead of berating you with so many of the different examples I saw, I'll focus on just two. The first example of a long term reward comes from a little practice I picked up from several of you. I decided a few years ago when I received a thank you letter from a student at Greene Central for the help that I had given him, that I was capable of doing the same as an adult. Each year I try to track down a former teacher and thank them. This year I chose my sophomore English teacher. Mrs. Dail was one of those teachers that taught me more about life and how to be a great person than anything I remember about subject/verb agreement or the plot of a novel we read. She continued to help me beyond the year I spent in her classroom and was personally responsible for me attending college and becoming a teacher. I wrote her an email to say thanks and did not receive a reply for several days. When she replied, she explained how she simply did not know how to respond. My thanks was two decades removed from her classroom, but the timing was right for her. Twenty years later, she had finally received the recognition that was due for her efforts for one kid.

My second example was two years removed of my efforts. Last night I had the privilege of making good on a promise that I made, and I attended the commencement ceremony of a former student of mine that graduated from nursing school. At that time I posted a blog about her and how her program was attempting to remove her due to her immigration status. Several of us that knew her fought long and hard for several weeks to keep her in school and were successful. Beyond that, we supported her in school and hours of encouragement and prayer went her way. Last night she was pinned as a nurse and it was probably the most satisfying thing in my career to date. She will begin work this summer at Vidant hospital. We won.

Many of you that have been teaching for a few years have stories similar to mine. Those of you well into your career probably have dozens of examples. At the end of Teacher Appreciation Week, I want to ask you to focus on those examples of how your own grit has produced success beyond your classroom. To those of you early in your career, please know that your efforts will produce quality results, sometimes it just takes years to see the full impact. Thank you all for what you do and I hope that you can take time to focus on your achievements.

Grace

Mrs. Willis accuses my blog of sounding like excerpts from a sermon from time to time. It's a fair analysis. As a preacher's kid I'd like to think that the backyard sermons I received from my dad somehow moulded my thought process. If the gray area between religion and school offends you, or simply isn't your cup of tea, you should probably stop reading this one.

This time of the year we struggle with how much to give of ourselves as people and professionals to help students succeed or just pass. Missed assignments, poor attendance and a myriad of reasons and excuses lead us to do more because others did less. On the one hand, we can set expectations and draw a line in the sand. You miss too many days: you fail. You miss the deadline for an assignment: sorry; do better next time. On the other hand, we give and give in hopes that the student will learn and will one day recognize the effort that went into helping them succeed.  Perhaps the learning and personal growth we hoped for will be achieved and it will all be worth it. These are the two ends of the spectrum and most of us fall somewhere in the middle, but lean to one side or the other. To be honest, this argument can even create conflict between our personal beliefs and our professional goals. Hold on this thought for a moment.

Most educators believe in a higher authority. You almost have to to stay in this job! I think that it comes down to faith. We have faith in one another, faith in our students and faith in the system that we work within. It all revolves in a belief that we are here to help one another and that we will all do our best. Faith is an easy concept. Just believe that it will be better. But if you believe in a higher authority, you also believe in grace, and that is much harder to practice. We all need grace. We all make mistakes and hope that we can be forgiven. Grace, on the other hand, is much harder to practice. We want it for ourselves, but find it difficult to give to others. Grace can be enabling or rewarding, and you just never know which way it will go.

So back to our troubled students. Where does our desire for personal grace intersect with our ability to give help and second chances to others? That's a tough thing to determine. It comes down to a personal belief and a reflective brain. When you decided to become a teacher, was it because of an inspiring teacher that gave you second chances to be better or because of a teacher that never budged? The answer will be different for many of us, but my advice is that all of us should be the teacher that we needed when we were younger and the person that we need now.  We all fall short and we all could learn a lesson or two, and in the end, most things work out for one reason or another. My dad would call that reason grace.

Think hard about grace and how best to administer it over these final weeks of the school year. Our reactions to student needs stem from our beliefs and do not necessarily reflect our own needs. Find your line and help students accordingly. If you need help finding your way through that gray area, I can try to help. I think that's my job. Be reflective instead of reactive and do your best to determine how grace should be administered in learning, as in all other aspects of our lives.

Salute Your Assistant Principals

This week is National Assistant Principal’s Week. For the life of me I can’t remember that being something that was recognized when I was an assistant principal. That’s probably because assistant principals are often too busy to realize that something like that exists. The job of an assistant principal is often very thankless. You work diligently to manage the day, the students and the problems that pop up, only for someone else to get the credit most of the time. And if you’re doing your job right, that’s how you want it. Our assistant principals are some real characters and they bring so much to our school with their personalities.

Mr. Castillo is one of the most passionate educators I know.  He takes student needs and goals personally and gives so much of himself to help make things happen for students that would otherwise get little or no attention. I am envious of his ability to generate relationships with families in two languages and every time I see him do it, I kick myself for not remembering more Spanish. If he is not driving a bus or opening his home to leadership meetings, he is keeping us all on our toes with the next prank he has concocted. He pushes me to push our staff to do more and for that I greatly appreciate him.

Mrs. Willis tells you like it is. She is the voice of reason and guidance for so many of our young ladies. Her broad life experiences have created an educator that is very wise beyond her years. She is my sounding board for new ideas and she is the person that checks on me to make sure that I take care of myself. Her experience growing up in a home much like so many of our students, to become an author and educator encapsulates the true definition of grit.

Mr. Simms is simply who everyone should want to be when they grow up. Every time I have a stressful day, I always remind myself that Dexter Simms has done this job much longer than I have and he is still one of the happiest people I have ever known.  He always has a smile on his face and a kind word for anyone. His positivity is infectious and his wisdom has helped me countless times.

So while we wrap up National Assistant Principal’s Week, please join me in saying thank you to the people that never really expect to get credit for so many of the things that they do each day. Without their work, our school might be a very different place to work. (And your doorknobs also might not have lotion all over them!)

Taking Time to be Important

I have a thing for watches. I probably own about 10, but I have 5 that I wear regularly. I just like the way that they look and feel. I can vividly remember my dad purchasing me my first watch. It was a black Timex and I got it because I couldn't remember what time to come home from a friend's house. He brought it to me the next day and told me that I would never get to use that excuse again. Since then I have owned dozens of watches. As a runner I had watches that had lap timers and all kinds of functions. As I got older I wanted watches that I felt showed somewhat of a status symbol. Having one on my wrist makes me feel ready for the day and important.

Take a look around any school and you will see that kids do not wear watches anymore. They have a cell phone that gives them the time and a watch is just a single-purpose device. I think that kids today miss out on some of those things that make you feel like an adult and feel important. That's why I purchased three watches and gave them to three young men this week. About a month ago I started my own homeroom, comprised of three 9th grade boys. All three were failing all of their courses. In our first homeroom we talked about why they were not being successful. Taking time to do their work and to study was a common theme. They also mentioned a lack of motivation and an overwhelming fear of being wrong. Since then, we have been working on making up classwork, completing assignments and being in their classes on time each day. Their grades have significantly improved and I am proud of what we have started. These young men come in each Monday and we talk for a few minutes and then they help each other on anything that they need for class. (They have several classes together.)

When I gave them their watches on Monday, I told them about my first watch and why I still wear one. I want them to feel important and I wanted it to be a symbol to take time to do the right thing. I never expected that I would have to teach them how to set a watch or even how to tell time on an analog clock face, but we did a crash course on that as well. These watches were a small investment in the lives of three young men, and to be honest I wasn't even sure that they would wear them. I was hoping that the feeling was universal. Their faces said it all as they put them on and I have seen them wearing their watch every day this week.

While I do
n't suggest that we go out a purchase watches for every student, I do suggest finding how to make students feel a sense of importance about their purpose and their goals. Learning has so much to do with how a learner feels about what they do and so little about their given talents toward the subject. The right mindset can truly overcome anything.

Girls Are Different

When I began coaching I dreaded dealing with girls. At the time, I had a highly successful boys cross country team and not even enough girls to make up a team. I had a parent complain about me not doing anything to motivate and encourage girls runners to make them better. What I was failing to realize was that the two groups operate very differently. It was actually a book I read for a college class the next semester that changed my outlook. I was taking a course on the history of the middle east and we were studying the cultural impact on women within the region. The book described an experiment within the Israeli army to build a group of women that were trained snipers. The experiment hit a major roadblock as women were not responding to traditional methods of basic training. The trainers were applying the same techniques that they had used for years. They tear down bad habits and teach new ones in their place. To teach, they yell and criticize. When they did this, the women snipers actually got worse. When they abandoned their methods and tried encouraging and praising good shots instead of criticizing bad ones, the women actually began to outperform the men. When I tried this same tactic in coaching, I quickly built a girls team that was unstoppable.

This week I have been reminded how different girls are and how important it can be for girls to be successful. Our girls soccer team enjoyed their first win in school history on Wednesday night against North Pitt. I was able to quickly rush from the Beta Club inductions (where many young ladies were awarded for their academic excellence) to see the final minutes of the game.  The 1-0 win looked like a World Cup victory for these ladies. The look on their faces personified grit. On the other end of the athletic spectrum, our softball team remains undefeated. The recent win over JH Rose of 25-0 in three innings showed just what confidence can produce in a group of young ladies. These girls look unstoppable on game days and any coach will tell you, that confidence is a major first step in winning.

I reflected on all of this on Thursday morning when my wife was called into work early and I couldn't get back to sleep. When my own girls awoke that morning, I laughed at myself as I struggled to use a hair straightener to get my little one ready for picture day. That evening I carried my oldest to a daddy/daughter dance at school. All-in-all I think I have fully realized how important it is to provide positive attention and praise to girls. Confident girls perform better. Maybe it's not even a girl thing. Maybe it's a part of human nature that we just see easily in girls. Either way, I think that this element of human nature cannot be ignored when we seek to teach others, female or male. Praise and confidence in the task can make the difference in quitting and fighting to get that essential first win.

I Get To Do This

You can tell a lot about a person from the language that they use. While we often pick up on body language and mood very quickly when talking with students and adults, language sometimes tells us a lot more. Language can describe motive and motivation within a person simply by the words that are chosen. I once heard someone express this concept very simply. Saying, "I have to..." implies a negative attitude toward a task. Saying, "I want to..." changes the connotation to the positive, but could still be driven from selfish reasons. Saying, "I get to..." implies selflessness and genuine joy in the task. 

Many of you "had to" finish grading papers this week so that report cards could be issued. I heard it in the hallways and I saw it on your faces. I also heard many of you "want to" start the second six weeks with a renewed motivation and a higher expectation for student success. I had a chance to think through this throughout the week and I can honestly say that my entire attitude changed as a result. I get to do a lot of great things. This week I got to see my student leaders meet with the Board of Education and I was overwhelmed at what they had to say about our school and the many projects that they are all so involved in. So many of our students believe in this community and in giving back to younger students in our school system. This week I got to appreciate having a school social worker. I have never had one as a principal until this year and I didn't know that this week was School Social Worker's week. Working with someone that is willing to go to student's home and make their lives better so that they can come to school is truly a privilege. I also get to work with a dedicated group of teachers that give up their time and energy to make our school and community a better place each day. I get to reflect every day on how our effort makes students successful and how their success serves as a role model for siblings and younger students in the district that they work with. 

What do you "get to" do? 

Stressed Out

What a week!!! Between the ACT, a packed schedule, the stomach virus and a substitute shortage, stress had me maxed out early this week. When we got through the ACT on Tuesday without a hitch despite a million reasons why it should have failed, I must admit that I felt a little foolish. I stressed out because I thought that I had to control everything. That's not a natural reaction for me, so when I feel like I have to make the impossible happen I try to over work things and I stress out. What I really should have done was trusted my team. No one would ever have known that we operated school and the ACT with 10 teachers out.

March is a tough month on teachers. We have so many things begging for our time and attention and you feel stressed because no matter how hard you work, you just can't seem to make it all happen. You lose sleep, and you can actually start to feel sick. Science calls stress the "silent killer" because high stress can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure and an irregular heart beat. Stress is a natural reaction our bodies take to heighten our senses as a survival technique. That seems ironic, because when I'm stressed out I feel like I'm barely surviving! 

Toward the end of the week I vowed to work on keeping my stress level lower in an effort to improve my performance and my faith in my team. I encourage you all to take a lesson from my mistake. Trust your team. We forget that so many of us can and will support one another like a family. Students and parents also contribute to that team as well. Having faith in what we have built and those that are with us each day makes any situation better. And if that still doesn't work, science also has shown that laughter and chocolate both have proven to reduce stress!