I'm Not Very Good At This

Since schools shut down in March, I have tried hard to figure out how to do my job. Managing staff, curriculum, facilities, medical needs, and all of the other parts that my job has encompassed has been very daunting at times. I find myself wanting answers when there are none, and I am being far more reactive than proactive. I'll admit that in many ways, I have felt like I was muddling through and hoping that something would happen. Now that we are at the end of a semester, I feel like we have learned a lot together, but I also feel like there are so many things about school that are simply not working as they should yet. So many students are not being successful and I have watched the stress work on my staff. Parents too often feel helpless and are allowing their children to disengage. To say it simply, I don't feel like I am very good at this right now. 

This isn't the first time I've felt this way as a principal. That feeling creeps in when I went through years with bad test performance, high rates of school discipline, high teacher turnover, or when parents felt like I was targeting their child or choosing to deny them of something. When those things happen, the only thing you can do is to step back and figure out what you can change to keep growing. You can't keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result. 

To be honest, I don't know of a school principal that feels great right now. I don't really know of teachers or superintendents that feel that way either. Even if you're doing your best to engage kids, we all know that our usual standard of what we would call great teaching and learning can't be met. Instructionally, we all got tossed into something new and while some teachers found a unique skill set that they may not have been aware of, most educators felt stressed about what we realized we were not good at. But I'm here to tell you that we are uniquely positioned to grow right now. As we prepare to turn over a new semester in a few weeks, we have a chance to start over with a wealth of knowledge about what was and was not effective. The absolute worst thing we can do is to republish our Canvas courses as they are and let the chips fall where they may. Standard 5 in the NC Teacher Evaluation rubric measures how reflective we are and this is an opportunity to show accomplished and distinguished work. 

So what pieces did you learn about this semester that worked? No matter how small. Was there a more effective form of communication or motivation? Did you find a good balance in how many assignments kept kids engaged versus overwhelmed them? Were you able to leverage any connections that you made between yourself and your students and their families? Think of these things before you republish your Canvas courses in January. This year, we all became first-year teachers again. While we may not have been our best, we can grow and be better. All of us.

Leaders Need Food Too

If there's one upside for me during the pandemic, it's that I read more now. (Kelly Garcia would be so proud!) I'm starting a book called Leaders Eat Last. The book references the U.S. Marine Corps practice wherein the senior officers move to the back of the chow line to allow the junior Marines to eat first. It is the job of the leaders to make sure that the group is well taken care of before they take care of themselves. The theme emerges, "Good leaders sacrifice their own comfort - even their own survival - for the good of those in their care." Coming from a family with strong military ties, I can understand this concept and how it has shaped my own focus, particularly this school year. 

In some lighter reading this week, I also found an article on school leaders and self-care. The article talked about the pressures of schools right now that we all have been under and how you have to take time to recharge and take care of yourself or eventually, you lose the ability to effectively take care of others. At first, the two readings seemed opposite to me. One theory says to sacrifice yourself at all costs and the other says to take care of yourself to be more effective. So what's the answer? Well, I think you can have both. I think you NEED both.

When we think of leaders, we often think of people that are bigger than ourselves. We think of politicians, bosses, and policymakers. Did you think of yourself? If not, you should. The very first standard in your teacher evaluation is on Teacher Leadership. Students and their families look to you as leaders. You lead in your classroom. You lead colleagues that come to you for advice and support. You lead parents when they don't know how to get their child back on track. And in years like this one, those many calls to leadership have left many of us drained and hungry at the back of the chow line as we work diligently to feed others first. 

The USMC analogy says that leaders eat last, but it never said that leaders don't eat. There may be times when they eat less or eat what's left, but they still eat. Leaders need food too, both literally and metaphorically. We are almost halfway through a school year that many of us thought wouldn't last but a few weeks. In what's left, your leadership will continue to be called upon and needed in many different ways. Take time to take care of yourself, so that you can take care of others.