Girls Are Different

When I began coaching I dreaded dealing with girls. At the time, I had a highly successful boys cross country team and not even enough girls to make up a team. I had a parent complain about me not doing anything to motivate and encourage girls runners to make them better. What I was failing to realize was that the two groups operate very differently. It was actually a book I read for a college class the next semester that changed my outlook. I was taking a course on the history of the middle east and we were studying the cultural impact on women within the region. The book described an experiment within the Israeli army to build a group of women that were trained snipers. The experiment hit a major roadblock as women were not responding to traditional methods of basic training. The trainers were applying the same techniques that they had used for years. They tear down bad habits and teach new ones in their place. To teach, they yell and criticize. When they did this, the women snipers actually got worse. When they abandoned their methods and tried encouraging and praising good shots instead of criticizing bad ones, the women actually began to outperform the men. When I tried this same tactic in coaching, I quickly built a girls team that was unstoppable.

This week I have been reminded how different girls are and how important it can be for girls to be successful. Our girls soccer team enjoyed their first win in school history on Wednesday night against North Pitt. I was able to quickly rush from the Beta Club inductions (where many young ladies were awarded for their academic excellence) to see the final minutes of the game.  The 1-0 win looked like a World Cup victory for these ladies. The look on their faces personified grit. On the other end of the athletic spectrum, our softball team remains undefeated. The recent win over JH Rose of 25-0 in three innings showed just what confidence can produce in a group of young ladies. These girls look unstoppable on game days and any coach will tell you, that confidence is a major first step in winning.

I reflected on all of this on Thursday morning when my wife was called into work early and I couldn't get back to sleep. When my own girls awoke that morning, I laughed at myself as I struggled to use a hair straightener to get my little one ready for picture day. That evening I carried my oldest to a daddy/daughter dance at school. All-in-all I think I have fully realized how important it is to provide positive attention and praise to girls. Confident girls perform better. Maybe it's not even a girl thing. Maybe it's a part of human nature that we just see easily in girls. Either way, I think that this element of human nature cannot be ignored when we seek to teach others, female or male. Praise and confidence in the task can make the difference in quitting and fighting to get that essential first win.

I Get To Do This

You can tell a lot about a person from the language that they use. While we often pick up on body language and mood very quickly when talking with students and adults, language sometimes tells us a lot more. Language can describe motive and motivation within a person simply by the words that are chosen. I once heard someone express this concept very simply. Saying, "I have to..." implies a negative attitude toward a task. Saying, "I want to..." changes the connotation to the positive, but could still be driven from selfish reasons. Saying, "I get to..." implies selflessness and genuine joy in the task. 

Many of you "had to" finish grading papers this week so that report cards could be issued. I heard it in the hallways and I saw it on your faces. I also heard many of you "want to" start the second six weeks with a renewed motivation and a higher expectation for student success. I had a chance to think through this throughout the week and I can honestly say that my entire attitude changed as a result. I get to do a lot of great things. This week I got to see my student leaders meet with the Board of Education and I was overwhelmed at what they had to say about our school and the many projects that they are all so involved in. So many of our students believe in this community and in giving back to younger students in our school system. This week I got to appreciate having a school social worker. I have never had one as a principal until this year and I didn't know that this week was School Social Worker's week. Working with someone that is willing to go to student's home and make their lives better so that they can come to school is truly a privilege. I also get to work with a dedicated group of teachers that give up their time and energy to make our school and community a better place each day. I get to reflect every day on how our effort makes students successful and how their success serves as a role model for siblings and younger students in the district that they work with. 

What do you "get to" do? 

Stressed Out

What a week!!! Between the ACT, a packed schedule, the stomach virus and a substitute shortage, stress had me maxed out early this week. When we got through the ACT on Tuesday without a hitch despite a million reasons why it should have failed, I must admit that I felt a little foolish. I stressed out because I thought that I had to control everything. That's not a natural reaction for me, so when I feel like I have to make the impossible happen I try to over work things and I stress out. What I really should have done was trusted my team. No one would ever have known that we operated school and the ACT with 10 teachers out.

March is a tough month on teachers. We have so many things begging for our time and attention and you feel stressed because no matter how hard you work, you just can't seem to make it all happen. You lose sleep, and you can actually start to feel sick. Science calls stress the "silent killer" because high stress can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure and an irregular heart beat. Stress is a natural reaction our bodies take to heighten our senses as a survival technique. That seems ironic, because when I'm stressed out I feel like I'm barely surviving! 

Toward the end of the week I vowed to work on keeping my stress level lower in an effort to improve my performance and my faith in my team. I encourage you all to take a lesson from my mistake. Trust your team. We forget that so many of us can and will support one another like a family. Students and parents also contribute to that team as well. Having faith in what we have built and those that are with us each day makes any situation better. And if that still doesn't work, science also has shown that laughter and chocolate both have proven to reduce stress!