Girls Are Different

When I began coaching I dreaded dealing with girls. At the time, I had a highly successful boys cross country team and not even enough girls to make up a team. I had a parent complain about me not doing anything to motivate and encourage girls runners to make them better. What I was failing to realize was that the two groups operate very differently. It was actually a book I read for a college class the next semester that changed my outlook. I was taking a course on the history of the middle east and we were studying the cultural impact on women within the region. The book described an experiment within the Israeli army to build a group of women that were trained snipers. The experiment hit a major roadblock as women were not responding to traditional methods of basic training. The trainers were applying the same techniques that they had used for years. They tear down bad habits and teach new ones in their place. To teach, they yell and criticize. When they did this, the women snipers actually got worse. When they abandoned their methods and tried encouraging and praising good shots instead of criticizing bad ones, the women actually began to outperform the men. When I tried this same tactic in coaching, I quickly built a girls team that was unstoppable.

This week I have been reminded how different girls are and how important it can be for girls to be successful. Our girls soccer team enjoyed their first win in school history on Wednesday night against North Pitt. I was able to quickly rush from the Beta Club inductions (where many young ladies were awarded for their academic excellence) to see the final minutes of the game.  The 1-0 win looked like a World Cup victory for these ladies. The look on their faces personified grit. On the other end of the athletic spectrum, our softball team remains undefeated. The recent win over JH Rose of 25-0 in three innings showed just what confidence can produce in a group of young ladies. These girls look unstoppable on game days and any coach will tell you, that confidence is a major first step in winning.

I reflected on all of this on Thursday morning when my wife was called into work early and I couldn't get back to sleep. When my own girls awoke that morning, I laughed at myself as I struggled to use a hair straightener to get my little one ready for picture day. That evening I carried my oldest to a daddy/daughter dance at school. All-in-all I think I have fully realized how important it is to provide positive attention and praise to girls. Confident girls perform better. Maybe it's not even a girl thing. Maybe it's a part of human nature that we just see easily in girls. Either way, I think that this element of human nature cannot be ignored when we seek to teach others, female or male. Praise and confidence in the task can make the difference in quitting and fighting to get that essential first win.