"I Can't"

My dad had a lot of sayings that were so very often repeated when I was growing up. Far too many of those stuck in my head, and as a parent, I find myself repeating them to my children. One of those sayings he used very often involved the words "I can't." My dad hated those words. If literally anyone in our home was caught uttering that phrase, we already knew what was coming next: "'I can't' hasn't ever done a thing." As a kid, it didn't make much sense to me. It was one of those phrases that you had to think about a little, and I sure wasn't asking any questions in the heat of the moment. What I learned later on was that my dad appreciated effort. You had to try and then persist at something, even if it was difficult. You were not allowed to say 'I can't' and give up.

School is hard, and while we sometimes think that kids have it easy these days, we don't always understand everything that is placed on them. What we do know is that standards and expectations are higher today in American schools than they were for any of us. Increased accountability and competition add multiple layers of stress and pressure to teachers and students alike. With increased stressors, we also know that we see increases in negative behaviors in adolescents. Much like stress builds up for us if we don't have an outlet for it, it builds for them and they do not always know how to manage it. They need someone encouraging and coaching them along the way. It has to be routine. We simply cannot expect children to arrive at those conclusions on their own. Effort and persistence are learned behaviors. When I repeat that phrase to my own children, I can literally hear my dad's voice in my head saying the same. We have to become that voice in our classrooms for all students. When an assignment is difficult or it is easy to mentally check out on a test, they need to hear your words in her own heads. In order to do that by the end of the semester, you have to start now. Cramming for this test simply won't work. It will take some effort, but believe you CAN'T afford not to.