Stay Pissed Off for Greatness

This week the NC State Board of Education released School Performance Grades for all NC public schools. The moment those grades were approved, the world had access to the grades and performance of each school in our state relative to each other. It's natural to compare and contrast. I've been in the profession long enough now to have seen both sides of the emotion that comes with that announcement. Long before this year, I've been a part of our school when it did well and when it didn't. I have lots of personal feelings about the metrics used to grade schools and the undeniable variables that play into the system. When I sat with the State Board and NCDPI, I asked hard questions about why we choose to stay with the system that we have. I advocated for change even when we were at the top of that metric. But when yesterday's scores were made public, my opinion didn't matter. Instead, the announcement included the marker that our school had re-entered Low Performing status. It's the first time in a very long time, and if I'm being honest, it pisses me off. 

The first rule of leadership is that you give credit to your team when things go well and you take personal accountability for your organization's losses. So now that I'm officially able to discuss our grade, I'm telling you that this is on me. There are several reasons why I could have done things differently that could have had a different impact. Despite how I feel about the metrics that determine our grade, my job is to lead us through them. Undoubtedly, there are always barriers, but my job is to get around them. Not having done that pisses me off. 

I have enough self-awareness to know that I don't always hide my feelings well. When I'm frustrated, it shows in how I look, how I speak, and what I do. This year I set a wellness goal for myself to be less reactive to others when I'm that way. I know that it doesn't always open doors for me and that, too, can be a barrier. But on the issue of school, teacher, and student performance, I'm going to choose to stay pissed off. While it's not always my most likable trait, it does drive me to help make things happen, and so I want to use it. Former NFL linebacker Ray Lewis coined a phrase, "stay pissed off for greatness." He explains that it means that, despite wins and losses, you always get to choose your effort. That effort leaves your legacy and your mark on anything that you do. So when things don't go your way, you can choose to wallow in it, or you can choose to roll up your sleeves and do something about it. I'm choosing to stay pissed off for greatness. Becasue if I'm not, then maybe it feels like it is ok to be where we are. And if you don't like how this grade reflects on us, I invite you to get pissed off also.