Someone To Go To

On the way to school each day, I pass by a neighbor's house with horses. I grew up with horses and I can't help but look at them each morning. This morning I noticed that two horses, an older mare and a young filly had gotten out of their pasture and were standing beside the road. I couldn't help but pull over and try to get them to safety. The horses let me walk up to them and they both followed me back into the yard and away from the highway. They stayed beside me until the owner came to put them back into the pasture.

Aside from my horse wrangling time, I'm reading a book about children with Adverse Childhood Experiences titled, Childhood Disrupted. I led a discussion at my principal's meeting this week on a chapter about resiliency. The chapter looks into why some people, despite the negative events that happen to them, turn out to be ok. It appears that genetics can determine how sensitive we are or are not toward negative or stressful events. But despite those genes, having an adult in your life that you can trust and talk to during stressful childhood events, can almost completely negate the effects of the events or the genetics.

Often, as school employees, we become that caring adult that students talk to. You don't have to teach very long before a student will open up to you and tell you things that make you worry about them. As an administrator, I often get tough stories from students, their parents, and teachers that need to get something off their chests. I'll quickly admit that I do not always feel like I know the right thing to say. But I think that the few minutes I spent with two horses this morning, taught me that you don't have to hear the right thing as long as you have someone to go to when you feel like you are in trouble. Those horses also showed me that it works for everyone, young and old. While students look to us for a caring adult, remember that you need that person as well. I had to tell myself that just this week, and I'm glad that I did. Teaching students about mental health, grit, and resilience also means modeling those behaviors and being vulnerable enough to talk about it.