You Can't Be Half Pregnant

This week I had an opportunity to chat for a while with my neighbor as she watered the flowers that separate our back yards. Both of us always seem to be on the go, and we don't see each other much, so it's nice to catch up when we do. In our conversation about what it's like to work in a school right now, she used a phrase that I have often used, but never really heard many others say. The phrase goes, "You can't be half pregnant." It's a simple, but a humorous idea. There are just some things in the world, that you are either all-in on or all-out. Just like you can't be half-pregnant, there are no part-time leaders and no half-invested educators. You're either all-in, or you're out. Maybe that's why things seem unusually difficult sometimes, and why those outside of our profession don't always understand. 

So many professions get to clock out and go home and while education always tended to linger into our time away from schools and classrooms, the past year or so has greatly increased that. If you are a teacher right now, you are working 24/7. Even if you aren't planning or grading, your brain is churning. Students and parents likely reach out to you when it is convenient to them, but maybe isn't the best time for you. And no matter what you tell others, you know that a large majority of the time, you respond when called upon. You can't be half-pregnant and right now you can't be half-educator. Sorry, but you're all-in. And just like carrying a child to term, we feel the stress, pain, and uncomfortableness along the way, but I've also never met one mother that will say that it wasn't worth it. Hang in there educators, we know that you're all-in and you're doing a great job.

Be The Crazy Teacher

Going into my Senior year in high school, I was already strategizing my senioritis. My best friend and I were trying to avoid Mrs. Sbolci, a notoriously tough Honors English 4 teacher. We wanted none of that, so we signed up for standard level and figured we would coast to an easy A. Of course, they didn't give Mrs. Sbolci Honors English 4 that year and on the second day of school, my coach saw me sitting in what he knew was the wrong classroom and had my schedule changed to the honors section. Instead of Mrs. Sbolci, I had Mrs. Peggy Nelson and I cannot begin to tell (nor would you even believe) all of the stories that came from that class my Senior year. 

Mrs. Nelson was just before retirement and to a class of 18-year-olds, we all thought she was a little crazy. She had stories of talking to the squirrels in her backyard, hilarious lessons on the Canterbury Tales with our class "pilgrimage" and all kinds of conversations that we thought were off-topic at the time, but taught us a lot of life lessons later. That year, we took a Senior trip to London and Paris, and somehow I became her baggage carrier throughout the trip. Mrs. Nelson was a tiny woman and I guess she knew I wouldn't say no. She gave me a shirt as a graduation gift for helping her out. It was nicer than most of the gifts my friends or family gave me. 

Even with my current education and hindsight, I can't tell you that a lot of what we did in Mrs. Nelson's class related to certain standards, but we did have some deep conversations. Those conversations helped shape the minds of a group of young adults that all thought we were the smartest one in the room at some point. We learned to argue with evidence and to make our point without raising our voices. And we laughed a lot. This week I learned that Mrs. Nelson passed away when a classmate sent me her obituary. My memories of her instantly brought a smile to my face. She was the crazy little woman that probably tricked us all into learning to be better adults. 

We spend a lot of time on standards, assessments, and all other tricks of pedagogy and I promise they are VERY important. But every now and then, if we do it right, we get to be the crazy teacher. The one that maybe overshares a little too much or gets too into the lesson or stops a lesson to teach a life lesson. When
the moment is right, don't be afraid to be the crazy teacher. Those are the memorable ones.

"I get to be on a team!"

My daughter, Reagan, is pretty introverted. She's always been content to be by herself working on something that interests her. We struggled for years to find her an activity or sport that she enjoyed and got her out of her bedroom. A few years ago she started competitively swimming and fell in love with it. Unfortunately, that didn't do a lot to expand her social skills. There's not a lot of talking in swimming and she doesn't personally know most of the other kids on her team since they don't live close to one another or go to school together. Reagan decided (after a little arm twisting) to run cross country at the middle school this year. She figured that the extra running would help her in swim and improve her overall endurance. This week they started to practice and when I picked her up on Monday, she was pretty excited. Her very first words when she saw me were, "I get to be on a team!" It only took her one day to recognize how important teams and encouragement within groups can be. She was hooked. 

High school teachers can sometimes be like introverted teenagers. We have a bad habit of hiding within the four walls of our classrooms. We feel that we control that space or can hide within it if we know that something may be wrong. We are not nearly as forced to collaborate as elementary or middle grades teachers are. But there is power in having a team. When you can give and receive help from others that work with similar students, you get that same feeling of encouragement that my daughter got this week. Being a member of a team requires that you give and receive support to the other members, and both of those actions trigger the chemical oxytocin in your brain. Researchers talk a lot about dopamine with kids and engaging them, but we probably should be talking just as much about oxytocin with teachers. It's the chemical that makes us feel loved, safe, valued, and wanted among a group. So if you're already hiding within the four walls of your room this year...GET OUT! Engage your teacher team and contribute to it.